Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Blood Bowl League Season II Weeks I-II

Apologies to the folks who follow my Lead Legion Painting Service blog. You'll have already seen this. Meant to post it here much, much earlier.

Some actual match reports will follow on during the next few days, but for now here's a quick summary of the first two weeks games. Note that some of the player's haven't yet chosen a name for their teams, so for the time being I've given them temporary names. Expect some of these team names to spontaneously change during the course of the Season. Other teams names are, frankly, a bit lewd. But that's my players for you.

As you can see, due to scheduling issues, week 1 was extremely quiet. This was balanced out in week two, when we had five boards on the go at one point and played a total of eight games (involving 10 teams) during the day.  We're also expecting at least three more players (two regulars plus my much, much better -as well as prettier and less hairy- half) to join us in week three. 
I did have photographs of most of these matches by the way, but the camera is presently in Ayr with my wife.

Week One:

Reikland Reavers (Humans) V Pokitt Dewces (Goblins)
In a shock defeat, the Reikland Raiders take four casualties, including one fatality. In the first game of the season, the Dewces trolls wreaking bloody havoc on the frailer humans, who struggle to complete a drive in the face of so many devious goblin tricks. The humans resorted to dirty tactics and fouling to try and even things up, but this only resulted in their having a player sent off, leaving them even weaker for the remainder of the game. The more numerous goblins took just a single casualty with Troll novice Nose-Biter causing sufficient havoc in his debut game to earn himself Star Player status.
Final Score: Reavers 0, Dewces 1. 
Casualties Inflicted: Reavers 1, Dewces 4.
Gate: 17,000
Filthy Trotz (Nurgle) V Pokitt Dewces (Goblins)
In a stunning reversal of weather conditions (and even more stunning reversal of fortunes for the Dewces), the Dewces first struggle through a blinding blizzard and then then scorching heat in a single game. A side-effect, no doubt, of playing in the Trotz home stadium in the Chaos Wastes. While the conditions do not seem to phase the Nurgle team at all, one of the Dewces Trolls spends most of the game in the reserves box while the other, Star-Player Nose-Biter, is brought down and killed by a Pestigor in the first drive of the game. Shortly thereafter, a goblin blows himself into the injury box with a fumbled bomb during a dastardly revenge attack.
Final Score: Trotz 1, Dewces 0
Casualties Inflicted: Trotz 2, Dewces 1.
Gate: 19,000
Champions of Death (Undead) V Filthy Trotz (Nurgle)
In a slow moving but eventful game, the Trotz and Champions spend the first half pounding each other into dust, with the Champions getting the worst of the exchange. Early in the second half, Ghoul Player Koffin develops star-player quality making an astonishing series of three dodges and a blitz in a bid to collect a loose ball near his own end-zone. Alas, despite his impressive feats, he's unable to follow through on the Blitz and is in fact killed by a nurgle Pestigor during the attempt. To add insult to injury, Koffin, one of just two players in the Champions susceptible to Nurgle's Rot, catches the disease and is recruited to the Filthy Trotz under the new moniker of Chlamydia.  The same Pestigor goes on to take the ball and score the only touch-down of the game, loitering at the end-zone for four turns while his team-mates repeatedly pound the Champions. The second half see's fortunes favorites change repeatedly, with the ball repeatedly traveling the length of the pitch, back and forth, until a last minute touchdown by the Nurgle team is defeated by a well-timed block from the Champions. 
Final Score: Champions 0, Trotz 1
Casualties Inflicted: Champions 2, Trotz 2
Gate: 21,000
The Hard-Knockers  return to Season 2 as the Belle's of the Brawl.

Week Two 

Fresh Pokitt Dewces (Goblins) V Chaos All-Stars (Chaos)
The Fresh Pokitt Dewces, so named due to the retirement of the Coaches previous team for un-disclosed reasons probably relating to an explosives accident (actually, the players I-Pad with the team sheet was stolen) take the field for what it effectively their first game of the season. In a rather brutal game, the Dewces inflict three Knock Outs and 3 Injuries on the All Stars in the first half, with the All-Stars Chaos Warriors making no less than nine failed solo blocks against goblin players in the course of the game. The All_Stars never come back from their early losses and manage to inflict just one casualty on the Dewces.
Final Score: Dewces 1, All Stars 0.
Casualties Inflicted: Dewces 3, All Stars 1
Gate: 18,000
The Frozen Wasters (Norse) V Reikland Reavers (Human)
Playing in surprisingly bright, sunny Norsca, the two human teams of different flavors spend most of the game pounding one another ineffectually as they attempt to pick up a ball that's clearly been rolled in whale fat a little too often. The Frozen Wasters secure a first half touch-down before the ball mysteriously becomes too slippy for any player to get a grip on it and the game descends (ascends?) into a shoving match, with few casualties inflicted on either side, with the exception of a Waster who slips on some mammoth fat and earns himself a broken leg. Somehow, the raiders manage to clean the ball well enough to equalize before the final whistle.
Final Score: Wasters 1, Reavers 1
Casualties Inflicted: Wasters 0, Reavers 1
Gate: 18,000 
Belles of the Brawl (Dwarf) V Tomb Raiders (Khemri)
In a rather brutul game, the Belle's voluptuous curves and seductive manner fails to offer much distraction to the dusty mummy's and skeletons of the Raiders. In a brutal brawl, two casualties are inflicted on either side with the ponderous but thrilling Raiders scoring two touchdowns against the girls from Khazak Gurl. Despite failing to distinguish himself to any great degree during the game, MVP for the Raiders turns out to be the Throw-ra, which just goes to show that most fans can't tell one bandaged corpse from another. Fancy that!
Final Score: Belles 0, Raiders 2
Casualties Inflicted : Belles 2, Raiders 2
Gate: 18,000
Griff Oberwald, the Iconic Reikland player.
Snala's Orcs (Ork) V Champions of Death (Undead)
In yet another excuse for a good brawl, Snala's Orks debut against the Champions of Death, still reeling from the death of a ghoul player in their first game of the Season. Despite being crippled by the loss of one of only two players capable of moving faster than a goblin through a troll's digestive tract the Champions give good account of themselves but can't stop the novice Orc coach (first time playing Blood Bowl on the tabletop) and his boys from taking advantage of their speed to score an equalizer.

Final Score: Orcs 1, Champions 1
Casualties Inflicted:: Orcs 2, Champions 2
Gate: 17,000
Filthy Trotz (Nurgle) V Naggaroth Nightmares (Dark Elf)
Playing throughout the match in Scorching Heat in front of a very hostile Nurgel Crowd (+2 Fame for the Trotz) doesn't seem to phase the Nightmares in the least. Despite taking a pounding between the heat of the sun and the rotting fists of the Trotz -even fielding just five players at one point- the Nightmares manage to run rings around their slow moving opponents who prove that Nurgle coaches can't count by inexplicable fielding only 10 of their 11 er, healthy, players throughout the second half. That being said, the Nurgle team successfully inflicts a fatal injury on an opposing player for the third game running, giving them a perfect kill streak for their first three games, as well as adding a 13th player to their ranks in the process. After the game the Nurgle coach was heard to comment: "A few more losses like that and we'll win the League" before laughing all the way to the Daemon-Pit to hire on a Beast of Nurgle with his winnings.
Final Score: Trotz 0, Nightmares 3
Casualties Inflicted Trotz 2, Nightmares 1
Gate: 21,000
Chaos All-Stars (Chaos) V Reikland Reavers (Human)
Still reeling from their drubbing at the hands of the Fresh Pokitt Dewces and forced to field a number of Journeymen, the Reikland Reavers showed their rivals no quarter during this hard fought and somewhat tense match. The Reavers took advantage of their speed and diverse player skills to take two touchdowns during the match to the All-Stars none. Both teams seemed surprisingly well-matched in the brawling front, taking only a single casualty each during the course of the game. The fans certainly seemed to enjoy themselves though, thanks to a good old fashioned riot early in the match.
Final Score: All-Stars 0, Reavers 2
Casualties Inflicted: All-Stars 1, Reavers 1
Gate: Un-recorded due to riots.
Some Pestigors strutting their stuff in the Chaos Wastes
Fresh Pokitt Dewces (Goblin) V The Frozen Wasters (Norse)
Despite a poor start with the Goblin Chainsaw loon massacring himself (much to the fans player) shortly after the ref's first blow on the whistle, the Dewces (helped in no small part by their coaches running commentary in an annoyingly squeaky voice) soon got themselves back into the game. This despite an early touchdown from the Wasters in turn 2. Soon, the Wasters are on the back foot, taking a turn 3 casualty followed by a turn 4 fatality. Unable to capatilize on causing a goblin casualty in turn 5, the Waster's drive ends when a goblin player intercepts a pass in turn 7, before handing-off the ball to score the equalizer in turn 8. Exhausted by the  frenetic activity of the first half, the Norse team hangs back to conserve it players, playing a defensive game. Between Norse caution and the usual goblin flailing, the second half is remarkably uneventful until a final round touchdown for the Dewces. 
Final Score: Dewces 2, Wasters 1
Casualties Inflicted: Dewces 2, Wasters 1
Gate: 20,000
Champions of Death (Undead) V Tomb Raiders (Khemri)
 A difficult one for the fans to follow, given that too much head-turning tends to result in the fans literally losing their heads! The League's two dead teams set about pounding one another into the dust in what proved to be a surprising mobile and fast game given the players' obvious limitations in the locomotion department. In fact, it would prove to be the highest scoring game of the season so far! Bandages flew everywhere as the teams' mummy players took turns knocking each other down and standing back up, meaning that it was the faster players (relatively speaking) who performed the actual scoring. Despite having just one player standing towards the end of the match (the rest of them having all been knocked on their asses, er, pelvises, by the Raiders) the Champions managed to hold on to a convincing draw.

Final Score: Champions 2, Raiders 2
Casualties Inflicted: Champions 1, Raiders 2
Gate: Not recorded


Note: The Number of wins, losses, casualties for and against etc does not tally correctly due to the retirement of the Pokitt Dewces and their replacement by the Fresh Pokitt Dewces.
A quick glance at the table will show that last season's winning coach, Gordon, is in the lead with another novelty team of stunties, albeit Goblins this time rather than Ogres. This season, we've seen a larger preponderance of slow, slugging teams and far fewer running or passing teams. That being said, Alan's Orks seem to favour the throwing game over beating the snot out of his opponents and the Norse could be described equally accurately as a throwing or bashing team. Bear in mind that several other coaches have yet to play their first game of the season. We'll soon be able to add the Skull n' Skinks (Lizardmen) to the list of teams and some coaches have yet to pick their teams. As yet, Skaven and Wood Elves are both noticeably (and surprisingly) absent from the board. 
It's also nice to see so many of the teams that I've painted or previously owned represented in the League.
My own team are sitting in the middle of the table after three games, with one win and two losses. But as a Nurgle team, you expect to lose your first few games while you build up your team. The one re-roll has been hurting me so far, but now that I have fourteen players to my name -including four Chaos Warriors (one with recently acquired Claws), four Pestigors and a Beast of Nurgle- I've already filled my roster with all the available non-Rotter players and should really start wracking up the wins soon. I've also successfully killed an enemy player in every game, recruiting two new Rotters in the process.. Now... if I can just save up for that second re-roll counter

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Blood Bowl Match Report: Skull 'n' Skinks vs Stirland Dockers

Last Sunday, after four years of trying, I finally managed to persuade my wife to sit down to a game of Blood Bowl. Helped by the fairly spare attendance on the first day of the Lead Legion Blood Bowl League's second session (Half the players forgot we were playing) and the fact she's recently fallen in love with Skinks, we were able to convince her to try her hand with Adam's Lizardman team in a friendly.

Given that Caroline was a complete newcomer to the game, I created a fairly unorthodox Lizardman team: 4 Saurius, 7 Skinks and FOUR re-rolls to help her overcome the inevitable newbie mistakes. Adam also agreed to help coach Caroline for the first half-dozen turns. Although I'm playing a Nurgle team in the League, Nurgle team's have a preponderance of special rules and aren't really suitable opponents for a beginners first game so I brought my human team out for a friendly.

Beginner's Luck?

Going by this pitch invasion, the humans must be playing away!

Right from the first, Nuffle smiled on Caroline when I rolled a 12 on the Kick-Off table. The resultant pitch invasion left we with just three players on their feet and eight lying strewn across the pitch in a stunned state. Caroline lost just one player, a Saurius, and had a clear path through my lone of scrimmage to the ball.

Fortunately, that was the last bit of luck she had for a while. I managed to hold her off -just- through some pretty damn skilled play (even if I do say so myself -and I do, a lot) until her Turn 4, with the ball trading hands several times.

First Blood:

Score 1 for the scaly-boys!

But alas, despite a brave defence, the inevitable soon happened. A very nice throw from one skink to a teammate loitering in the human end-zone resulted in what would turn out to be the first of many, many touch-downs.

More Pain:

Not again! I bet it was the same darn Skink too!

A turn later, a rash running play by me left a Stirland Catcher eating dirt and an opportunistic skink with possession of the ball. Demonstrating why a well-handled Skink team is both a thing of beauty and something to be feared, Caroline had her second touchdown on turn 6. Satisfied that his job here was done, guru-Adam departed to leave Caroline to play on alone.

It was! It was the same bloody skink! Good thing this is just a friendly!


A successful throw from a human team? It does happen. Sometimes.
With just two turns left in the half I knew I had to pull something out of the hat. I feinted to my right (top half of the photo) while sneaking a catcher through on my left on turn 7. On turn 8, after drawing Caroline's reserves out of position and then switched the ball to the right and made the throw to score! 2-1 to the Skullin Skink's at the end of the first half! Don't let the position of the ball in the photograph throw you off. He made the catch. Honest!

Second Half:

In a good position at the end of my turn 9
 Capitalizing on my successful diversion at the end of the first half, I set up my team as though I intended to repeat the same play, but on the other flank. This time, it wasn't a diversion though. Caroline didn't shift her reserves this time. I risked an interception to pass the ball over her line of scrimmage and finished in a good position to score. The fly in the ointment was the Skink Caroline had positioned in her end zone for "deep defense". Actually, it turns out she'd gotten confused and thought she could score by getting the ball into her own side of the pitch, but I'm too much of a gentleman to mention that the Skink was really mooching in the hope of scoring an own goal (and here I thought she was being damned clever)!

That's not a baby you're cradling, son!


Who let that giant into the stadium?

Despite a brave attempt by a pair of skinks to bring down the catcher, it was not to be and the laddie managed to find his way to the end zone to score touchdown number two (for the humans) in Turn 10. But Caroline wasn't down, and she certainly wasn't out. The tide was about to turn yet again.

Cold-Blooded Revenge:

Disaster! The outraged lizard fans invaded the pitch for a second time in protest at what was clearly an off-side touchdown! This time, five of the brave Stirland lands managed to fight off the scaly horde and stay on their feet. The visiting human fans did their best but it wasn't enough! Only two lizard players were stunned, leaving the visiting team outnumbered 9-5.

Dammit, what are they invading the pitch with? Giant Parrots?
Why yes! Yes they are! Thanks Bruce. Why don't you go throw Adam's dice somewhere else?

Number Five is Alive (and a Lizardman, apparently):

Touchdown number three for the Lizards wasn't long in following a 14 week old Giant Parrot's rampage! A different skink ran the ball in to score on this occasion, tearing through the human lines on the lizardmen's turn 11...
The Skinks are facing backwards because we always turn a player round after activation, to avoid accidentally activating the same player twice in one turn.
and then score on their turn 12...
That bloody skink again!
and leaving a trail of destruction in their wake:
They're not stunned, they're on Parrot Watch, honest.

Stirland Resurgent:

Not about to be beaten by a beginner (a girl, of all things and my wife at that!) I lined the boys up and gave them a stern talking too (earning some funny looks in the process). But it didn't look good when the Lizardmen delivered a perfect kick that left the ball sitting in my very own endzone. I had to drop my thrower way back to pick up the ball (contrary to my wife's claims, I was NOT trying to score an own goal. I leave that sort of thing up to her -although mentioned this again on a public blog is probably scoring an own goal of a different kind).
It's lonely back here....

Bombed Out?

Conscious that I had to score twice to win, I took the risk of a long bomb throw to the Catcher on my right. As is usual for me, when I really need something to go right, it goes wrong! But it wasn't a total loss. Catcher-boy dropped the ball, but fortunately it bounced right onto an escorting Blizter and got stuck on a helmet spike or something because, wonder of wonders, he actually managed to catch it despite being in a Skinks tackle zone!

Wot just bounced on my 'ed?

Knock Out Blow:

Alas, why my dumb-ass Blitzer was skipping about celebrating, he got mugged by a mob of Skinks and knocked himself out hitting the ground. Or something. Couldn't have been those little guys that did it. No sirree!
Spot the conspicuously empty square where a blitzer should be.

Back and Forth:

There followed a small but vicious brawl over possession of the ball. No rat-catchers or their mangy mutts were involved but eventually a Stirland Catcher (of all things) won the ball and made a break for the end-zone...
All your ballssss belong to ussssss!

 only to be caught and mobbed by no less than FOUR skinks!


Clearly however, Nuffle was with this brave lad, for not only did he manage to shake off the four-skink tackle, he managed to score as well! 3 all with two turns to go! What a guy!
I'll turn yarz into boots!

Obviously a lad who eats his Spinach. Now. Why were you so crap in the last league number 7?


With two turns left on the clock, both teams have everything to play for. After all, a two turn touchdown is well within the realms of possibility for either time. Oh eck. Nail-biting stuff. Stirland kicks to the Lizardmen -and the ball drops right behind their line. The result is another vicious brawl for possession. In turn eight, the lizardmen finally seize the ball. All is lost for the humans -their turn eight has been and gone. It's all down to the dice now. First the lizards need a pass...
...and they make it. But it cost's their re-roll. Now they just need two go for it's. They get the first, they roll for the second and.....


The lizardmen roll a one, just one single square from the end-zone and a 4-3 victory over the humans. Brian (that's me by the way) sighs loud and deep. Partly from relief that he didn't lose to his wife in very first game of Blood Bowl (he'd never hear the end of it, and his home or Adam's) and even more so because Caroline loves the game. It was at this point that she named her team the Skull'n'Skinks and pledged to join the League.

And what a classic Blood Bowl ending to a truly classic Blood Bowl Game.

Monday, 1 October 2012

Blood Bowl Convert

My wife Caroline played her first game of blood bowl yesterday! 3-3 on the last turn of the game, she needs two go-for-it's to win and rolls a 1 on the second go-for-it! Classic Blood Bowl moment. Now she loves the game. She's already named her new team "Skull 'in Skink"!
 We took some photographs of the game, so look for a play report in the next few days.